im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
