Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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