i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
