I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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