If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
