they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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