I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
