I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
