Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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