ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
