Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
