whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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