All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
