Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
