last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
