Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
