So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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