i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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