She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize