There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
