Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
where are you?
Hypothermia
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
