New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
