pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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