seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
