as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Shame is for Republicans.
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