She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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