Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
