Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
COCAINE IS GR8
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
