i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
