Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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