he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
