we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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