I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
