even my farts smell like vagina
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
