pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
