ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
