wanna go halves on a baby?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
