awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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