I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
