talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
