apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
