I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
