Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
