apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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