IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
