hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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