As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
