He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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