Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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