i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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