I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
