So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
