Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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